And here I thought they were extinct!
I went shopping at Wal-Mart the other day. Don’t judge me! It’s the closest place to my house to buy food! Actually, no, the closest place to my house were I can buy food is the Krispy Kreme Doughnut shop. And while Krispy Kreme is delicious, you can only eat like 10 of them before you get sick to your stomach (not that I know from personal experience. Um, yeah.) so they’d be kinda hard to live on.
Anyway, while I was shopping, I spotted something I hadn’t seen in perhaps 12 years–the stereotypical Mormon mom.
A quick note. I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Not only am I a lifelong member, I actually made a conscious decision regarding my membership. The gospel of Jesus Christ as revealed by Joseph Smith has kept me sane–well, sane-ish, and literally alive. You will never hear me mock the church, its doctrine, or its leaders.
Mormon culture on the other hand, especially Utah Mormon culture, the crazy stuff we Mormons do that either has no relation to the gospel, or is only marginally connected, deserves to be mocked and I do so at every opportunity.
Anyway, back to this woman. I recognized her for who she was right away. She had the biggest bangs I’ve seen in over a decade, and the rest of her hair was pulled back into a tight French braid. In fact, after spotting her hair, I had to look twice to make sure she wasn’t a polygamist. (She wasn’t. Her clothes were boughten, and involved slacks.) She spoke in a sweet, soft voice, and led a flock of children with names like Brigham, Eliza and Nephi. Just looking at her, you knew that she made the best cookies on the block.
I spotted her, unsurprisingly, in the bakeware isle. I immediately made a detour from my planned shopping route to examine her more closely. I pulled my phone out and pretended to text, in hopes that I could get a picture, but Abinadi spotted me eying his mom, and kept giving me the stink eye.
Seeing how it’s New Years Eve, I should probably post a list of resolutions and/or a retrospective of the year and/or decade, but we’re all sick of that, right?
For me, 2009 can be boiled down to: I lost my job, and have spent the last 6 months looking for a new one. I gained a nephew, E. I fell in love with a man that I have no access to, and decided that being feminine isn’t as stupid as I previously though. I changed anti-depressants, and the world suddenly isn’t as bleak a place as all that, except when I can’t sleep.
As for resolutions, I don’t believe in them. Rather, I believe that people make them, and give them an honest effort–for about 6 weeks. I just don’t bother anymore.
I hope everybody has big, fun plans for tonight. Personally, I plan on staying home and peeling a little dog off my face after she hears fireworks, and yelling at the other little dog when he barks at the revelry outside.
Anyway, here’s hoping that 2010 is better than 2009 was, and that the ’10s will be better than the ’00s. It can’t really be worse can it? Can it?