Archive | January 3, 2010

Fullfilling an obligation

I’ve been staring at the “add new post” link for most of the morning.  I’ve made a few false starts, but I’m having a hard time coming up with anything to blog about today.  I’d skip it, but I skipped Wednesday’s and Friday’s posts, and that would start me down a dangerous precedent.  I started this blog to help me write every day, dammit.

I suppose this is the beast rearing its ugly head.  I didn’t make it to church today because I was feeling the pre-panic attack anxiousness.  And while panic attacks suck any time, panic attacks at church are the worst.  Still, there’s that part of me yelling that I would have felt better if I had made an effort to go.  I don’t know.  It’s been too long since I’ve been to church in my own ward, and I’ve even blown off my teaching calling as the depression strengthened over the holidays and the days got shorter and colder.

Is that too emo-y and whiny?   Seriously, let me know.  I don’t think I’m going to answer the door if anyone comes by today, but you can still ambush me in the parking lot to kick me if needed.

I’m gonna blame it all on E.  That kid’s only 2 months old, so he can’t protest, right?

Actually, he can, and does.  Who would think that being around a colicky baby would get my biological clock going in high gear?

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