Closure

This past week has been understandably difficult. Granted, Sunday and Monday were my fault–I’m still not used to taking medicine in the morning rather than at night.

The good news is, they caught Roman and Reyes, and Roman, at least, had a court appearance today.  It’s a huge relief, I think, for the community.  I know that the emergency service family of Millard County is still mourning, and I don’t think Josie’s family will ever stop.  For me, though, there is a feeling of closure.

Of course, while I’m not crying for blood, I’m a little worried that if and when Roman is convicted, and if he gets the death penalty, he’ll decided that he wants to be a Mexican citizen, and there will be a whole international incident.  I asked Google about illegal aliens on death row, and it pointed me to the case of Jose Medellin, who was executed in Texas in 2008. So it has been done, but the UN, Amnesty International, and, for some reason, President Bush weren’t happy about it.

Anyway, that’s years away, and even though I’m a worrier, I’m doing a pretty good job of putting it out of my mind.  I have faith in the justice system, but if I get called for jury duty, I’m going to tell them that I think the bastard should hang.

On a more personal note, I’ve been a little surprised at how all this stress and shock has affected me. I have been depressed, but it has been different than it usually is.  I’ve been having the physical symptoms of depression–body aches and fatigue, but, since Tuesday night, anyway, I haven’t really had the emotional symptoms.  Strangest, perhaps, was yesterday.  My core body was cold, but my extremities–my arms, legs, hands, feet and face were burning up.  I wondered if I had a fever (I’m a bit of  a hypochondriac, which I’m sure will become abundantly clear as this blog progresses)–I didn’t.  So I asked WebMd and Google, and they both said that was a symptom of a panic attack/anxiety disorder.  I wasn’t feeling particular anxious, though.  Except about my extremities burning up while my core was cold.

Anyway,  I have a feeling of closure, though that may leave once the trial starts.  I’m debating going to the funeral on Monday–again, I didn’t know Josie all that well.  I’ll support my home town in any way I can, but for now, I’m ready to move on.

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