On hope, dispair, and being alone in the sealing room.
My parents, sister, brother-in-law, and myself went to the temple today, to seal my great-aunt to her husband and parents. (If I have any readers who aren’t LDS, see this post–I’m also working on a Mormon to English glossary) It was quite the experience–this is the first time that I’ve done sealings. I’d seen them, of course–I’ve witnessed weddings and my nephew being sealed to my sister and bro-in-law. In our group, doing sealings for Aunt Virginia and Uncle Russ, I was the only single person. There were then two other couples doing sealings with us.
I had the opportunity to stand in proxy for my aunt when she was sealed to her parents, then, as we did names that other people had submitted, I was the one who was asked to be proxy for the daughters–I was the only one who was asked to be proxy for the daughters.
It was hard for me, to hear all of the couples being sealed together, knowing that I was the only one in the room who hadn’t received those blessings for myself in this life. I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t the time or the place to feel sorry for myself–instead I should be rejoicing for those who have been separated from their family members for who knows how long.
The thing is, I had an overwhelming sense that someday, it would happen for me. On the way home, I was remembering that about two months ago, I volunteered to speak in Sacrament meeting, to share with the ward a new program the stake put out involving the temples, and family history. The stake president heard me volunteer (he just happened to be in our ward that day, I wasn’t planning on him being their, but he he immediately said “This will help you get married.” I thought that was odd, but didn’t really think about it. After giving the talk, I felt like what President Livingstone had said was true, even though I didn’t know–and still don’t know how that talk would help me find a husband.
When I was acting in proxy, I felt such a familial love, not only when I was in proxy for my own family members, but when I was in proxy for strangers. It was like being a little child, safe in the arms of my mother.
I don’t know how comfortable I would be doing sealings for anyone other than my own family, at least until I have a husband or fiancé to go with me. I’m still glad of the experience.