It’s 2am and I can’t sleep. Might as well update the blog.
The anxiety that I posted about yesterday is still going strong, and is the primary reason I can’t sleep. This is new–I honestly can’t remember the last time I was too worried to go to sleep. It’d be so much better if I could figure out what I’m worried about. I guess this is how E feels all the time.
When I separate the soul-crushing anxiety out of things, 2 am on a weeknight is incredibly peaceful. All is quiet and still. There is no traffic or outside noise (except the sound of my downstairs neighbor snoring). I’d be stargazing, except for a) it’s overcast, b) light pollution and c) LASIK ruined my night vision to the point where I can’t really see the stars anymore. It’s a time to sit back, mediate, and take in the world.
Or, you know, sleep.
I’ve had far too many 2ams recently, especially when I’m trying to keep my body on a sleep/wake schedule that won’t cause problems once I start working. It’s getting better, but still–2am, and my body thinks it’s a great time to be wide awake.
Maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps I should try to find a job in, say, an observatory. Because astronomers love being around night blind people who stink at math, and therefore physics, right?