Into the Lion’s Den

I’ve been feeling especially brave, the past couple of days.   Of course, when I say I’ve been brave, I mean I’ve been doing stuff that everyone else would think was just par for the course.

Yesterday, I went to Wal-Mart for the first time since the pseudo-fire.  I needed more hardware/garden type stuff, so I was on the other side of the store from: a) where the fire was, and b) where I was when they asked us to evacuate.  It was still pretty difficult, and I was fighting back a panic attack the whole time.  Of course, that could have just been Wal-Mart, too.  Fortunately, I was able to find an isle that didn’t have any customers, pretend I was looking at plastic pestles, and take deep breaths until I calmed down.

Today, Sis asked me to come and watch the kids while she went and got her hair did. She knows it’s hard for me to be around E, and was apologetic, but I was actually happy to–despite, well, despite it being the time of the month when it is extra hard to be around babies. Both G and E have pretty nasty colds, and so are pretty demanding.  So far so good, but we’ll see what happens when I get home tonight.

Even with what I’m considering two huge triumphs, things have been pretty difficult the past couple of days.  I’m having to take a hard look at myself, what I believe and what I know.  I’ve felt for a long time that I’d need to get my spiritual house in order before I would be able to find work–and I’m just now realizing what a state of disrepair it’s in–and of course, because I’m trying to get my life back on track, the adversary is working hard to keep me from doing so.

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