Like a light in a dark place.
It’s almost stereotypical, the image of the depressed writer. The thing is, there is a reason for it.
Last night was one of the worst nights I’ve had, well, ever. I needed a release for my emotions. So I updated this blog, but I still needed to write. So I updated my journal. It wasn’t enough. I then started working on the beginnings of a story–more of a character sketch, really. Diving into this fictional world, developing my characters back story and personalities, figuring out the adventure that I want them to have was enough to calm me down at least to the point where I could go to bed and get a few hours sleep–and that, really, is the very best thing I can do for my depression.
There have been studies done to show that both the creative mind is more susceptible to depression, and that being creative–writing, drawing, playing music, etc. is an effective treatment for depression and PTSD.
For me, when I can sit down and write, especially fiction, when I can control the world, the people, the plot, it’s a feeling of control that I don’t have in my every day life. It is soothing–and a bit of a power trip. When I write, I am absolutely in control of my characters, from their personality flaws to their heartaches to their triumphs. This is amazing when I can’t even control my moods.
I know it’s odd that I keep posting about writing, and talking about the stories that I’m working on, but have yet to post one of those stories. I feel almost like I’m rediscovering the writing process, and it’s taking time to get to where I want to be.
Have patience with me. I’m trying hard to have patience with myself.