And by bajillion, I mean 26. Still, yesterday was the busiest day that The Storyteller Chronicles has had that wasn’t talking about Josie Greathouse. (Brett, see what I did there?) Just in time for everyone to see me break down over my love life, or lack thereof. So, yay?
Anyway, the magic combination is to tag “depression” and “writing”. Because, bloggers are writers, and most are pretty interested in tips and advice to make their writing better. And writers are depressed. And drunk. And Irish. And live in the Florida Keys with a million cats. Did I miss any?
Thinking about it, it’s not really surprising that I haven’t let myself fall in love before now. I learned a long time ago to keep my emotions in check . This has nothing to do with the church, or how I was raised, but everything to do with the beast.
See, until I started taking Lexipro, any strong emotion–love, joy, happiness, anger, frustration, fear, embarrassment…anything would turn into depression. So, rather than risk a down day, or down week, I just didn’t let myself get too emotional. Which, now, that I’ve got things under control seems really stupid.
Okay, any further thoughts I have on the subject are starting to sound too much like a country song, so I’m going to move on.
I’m getting ready for a party with the grumpy side of the family today. I’m surprisingly looking forward to it.
Family parties have always been difficult for me, whether they be on the grumpy side of the family or the non-communicative side of the family. Mormons are taught, and I was raised to know that the most important thing in this life is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Following close behind that is family. The sense of family that has been instilled in me since I was a little girl is even more powerful then the knowledge that family get-togethers inevitably lead to agoraphobia and depression.
Remember how I don’t do well with large crowds? Well, my mom has 5 brothers. (She’s the only girl in the family) Dad has 11 brothers and sisters. I have close to 100 first cousins. There’s no such thing as an intimate gathering of the extended family.
So this is going to be the first family party I’ve been to since starting the Lexipro. We’ll see how it goes. I don’t know how many people read this blog, (obviously, no more than 26) and I don’t know how I’m going to handle questions about the past few days, so we’ll see how it goes.
Hopefully everyone will be so busy complaining about their own lives, that they won’t bother to ask about mine.