So, I guess I lied in yesterday’s post. Probably not so much as to anyone reading, as to myself. If last night/this morning is any indication, I still have emotional hangovers.
Yesterday was amazing. It turns out that the grumpy side of the family is a lot less grumpy when a certain uncle and his children don’t show up. I ended up laughing at myself; part of the reason I was so excited for the party was for the opportunity to eat meat, I’m poor so that doesn’t happen very often. So guess who ended up choosing fish on both trips through the buffet line? Yeah…
One of my cousins was there, who has only started returning to family parties recently. His story isn’t mine to tell, but he’s been through a hell that I can only imagine. He made a point to talk to me, and get my phone number, and let me know he’d been worried about me.
This cousin and I are about as different as two people can be while still being related. I think the easiest way of saying it is that his problems came about from doing too much, while my problems are caused by doing too little.
We didn’t get a chance to talk at the party, but we did chat on Facebook last night. What he had to say was very touching, and I needed to hear it–and not just because he kept telling me how strong and smart I am.
After our conversation, as I was trying to go to sleep last night (the insomnia’s back. So frustrating.) I was thinking about this cousin. In my mind’s eye, I pictured all the people supporting me and cheering me on, and it was nice to be able to add his face to the throng. I thought about all that he’s gone through, then pictured him with one hand firmly grasped in that of the person who helped him the most, and the other outs outstretched towards me. I then looked past his help, and saw a long chain of people, all supporting each other. It was a very comforting image.
I don’t know why I have to keep reminding myself that humans are social animals, and we rely on the strength and support of friends and family. I don’t like to make people go out of their way to help me, but the thing is, as far as emotional support goes, oftentimes, I don’t even realize when I’m offering it. We are at our best when we are helping and being helped by others.
Even having realized this, I’m still being bad and skipping church today.
Um, I should probably mention the new theme/header. I was just getting tired of the dictionary page, and was ready to celebrate spring. I also like that you can jump between posts with this theme without going back to the home page.