Momentum is a powerful thing. Writing yesterday’s post was enough to get the ball rolling–I had a good cry and an even better talk with my parents. I’m feeling much better, and, at the moment, am even probably going to go to the Easter Party.
I was thinking about the people I know who always seem to be happy, and I wonder if they realize what a blessing that is. I’m not naive enough to think that their lives are free of pain–in fact, they seem to have gone through some of the worst trials–everything from abuse to a brain tumor, to losing everything they own, building a life again, then losing it all again and more. And I know that their happiness isn’t a 24/7 thing–I once saw one woman I would place in this group break down into tears when talking about her first marriage–her husband had been abusive to her, and she only found the courage to leave after he started hurting her kids too. This messed up her eldest daughter to the point where she’s in worse shape than I am, Michelle (not her real name) would get misty eyed whenever she would talk about Robin (also not her real name), but within the hour she would be sunshine and smiles again.
As I was thinking about happiness as a blessing, I had a realization. Happiness really is a gift of the spirit, even if it is not one specifically mentioned in scripture.
This led me to think about my situation in a new light. Depression isn’t so much a trial I have to face, as happiness is a gift of the spirit that I wasn’t blessed with. It may seem like the same thing, but in reality, it turns everything on its head.
I know that the only true path to happiness is though the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I taught on my mission that the plan (I kinda feel like I should have capitalized that; The Plan) our Heavenly has outlined for us is called the Plan of Happiness. I also know that if we seek after spiritual gifts, that we will receive them as the Lord sees fit.
I think it’s easier to seek to gain something, than to seek to be rid of something. And maybe the serotonin receptors in my brain will never work correctly, and I’ll always have a hard time feeling joy that others feel in the same situations, but I have faith in the Lord that if I do what I should, and seek after the spiritual gift of happiness, that I can achieve it.