Archive | April 14, 2010

I wish I could stop learning life lessons. This is getting embarrassing.

I finally got off my lazy butt and got my taxes done.  It only took five hours longer than I thought it would.  Still, I got enough money back that if I watch my budget I’ll be okay for another couple of months without unemployment.  So…yay.

Anyway, by the time I got everything taken care of, I was tired and hungry, and didn’t want to eat anything that I had at my house, so I ordered a pizza.  I ordered online, and, not paying attention, I told Papa John’s to send my dinner to the last address I sent a pizza to, forgetting that the last time I ordered pizza I was babysitting.  At my sister’s house.  50 miles away.

G was really excited about it.  He called to tell me thank you for the pizza.

I realize that I’ve been really depressed lately, and I don’t want this blog to descend into a pity party–I’m working on it, really.

I watched Julia & Julie yesterday, and I’m surprised at how much it’s stuck with me.  I was expecting a light dramady,  but it got me thinking.   Specifically,  I’ve been thinking about Julia Child.

Julia Child didn’t get married until she was 35, and, at that time, she didn’t know how to cook.  She enrolled in cooking school at 36, She published her first cookbook at 49, and appeared on TV for the first time at 50.

This woman single handedly changed the way that Americans think about food, and how we cook.  She was not beautiful, and her voice was… distinctive.   I doubt that she would have even gotten as far as making a pilot today.

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself because my birthday is Friday, and I’m feeling old, alone and unaccomplished.  I needed to be reminded that I still have a lot of life left ahead of me–a lot of time to still accomplish my dreams.

So today, I learned: Don’t wait until the last minute to take care of stuff (although I’m patting myself on the back for not waiting until the VERY last minute, as tomorrow is going to be much busier than today was) and pay attention to what you’re doing.

Otherwise, you provide lunch for your brother-in-law for the next few days.

Press on, press on

One of the unplesant truths about life is that every decision we make has a consequences.

Granted, some of those consequences are so small as to be negligible–for instance, choosing to wear a certain outfit or eating a certain meal means that those clothes are dirty for the next day, or that food has been used up.

The consequence of choosing to live a solitary life is loneliness.

I’ve realized that my lifestyle is a choice–and one that most of the time I’m happy with.  This April, though…life’s just gotten hard.

I’ve been depressed recently.  Well, more depressed than usual.  I’ll turn 29 on Friday, and that has a lot to do with it–I’m feeling old and alone.  Which is stupid, I know, I’ll still be in my 20s, but I am absolutely not where I thought I’d be at this time in my life.

Talking to my mom the other day, she reminded me that it’s better than the alternative.

I was praying today for strength, and a tune came into my head.  I recognized it as a hymn, but I couldn’t tell which one it was.  When I started to hum it, I figured out it was “Through Deepening Trials”.  Which then, I could only remember the first two lines–

Though deepening trials throng your way/press on, press on, ye saints of God!”

I went about my day, every once and a while singing those two lines to myself.  After running a few errands, (note: If you’re feeling sorry for yourself, and stop at the RedBox and pick up a couple of movies that you’ve been wanting to see, “Precious” and “Julie and Julia” are NOT a good combination, and will end up making you feeling more sorry for yourself.  They were both good movies, though.) I came home and straightened up the house a bit.  In the process, I found my pocket hymnbook, so I sat down and looked up Though Deepening Trials.  And then started to cry.

First, the mood direction of this hymn is “cheerful”, while I’ve always thought of this as a somber hymn. That was even before I got into the lyrics:

Though deepening trials throng your way

press on, press on, ye saints of God!

Ere long the resurrection day

will spread its life and truth abroad

will spread its life and truth abroad

what if our rights have been assailed?

what though by foes we’ve been despoiled

Jehovah’s promise has not failed

Jehovah’s purpose is not foiled

Jehovah’s purpose is not foiled

It’s not supposed to be easy.  I know that.  I also know that Eliza Snow, the author of those words went though trials that would break me.

I can be strong.  I can do this.  Whatever happens, happens.  I just need to trust in the Lord.

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