Knowing what I should do doesn’t make doing it any easier.
I am a spoiled and selfish girl.
What right do I have to complain? I have a supportive family, a nice house, two dogs that love me, I’m moving forward with my life, finally.
So I’m sad a lot. So I have to take medicine to keep me from killing myself. What do I have to be depressed over, really?
I mean besides the fact that my brain doesn’t process chemicals correctly.
I woke up to a bit of a surprise–today, before I’d even gotten out of bed, I’d received more visits than I had for the past week. Okay, I wasn’t expecting that one to be a big post…
I think my problem is that I am impatient. I guess we all are. After I wrote that post, and while in the process of crying myself to sleep last night, I remembered a scripture from the Book of Mormon that I should have been thinking about all along, specifically Ether 12:27
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
My new friend, William Wallace (FREEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM! sorry, just had to get that out my system.) reminded me in the comments yesterday that I need to turn to God. I know this. I’ve always known this. I know that my trials in life are those that He knows I can handle.
This is hard to remember, though when you’re feeling to agoraphobic to go to church, and to distracted and scatter-brained to study scripture.
School should help. It’ll get me used to being around people (I’m surrounded by dogs, so I just used the word “socialized” in my head) so I’ll feel more comfortable at church. The first little bit, anyway, should help with the self-esteem crap too.
I don’t know, I feel like I’ve been such a downer lately, but then I’ve been pretty down. I want to have something happy to write about, but I really don’t.