You mean I actually have to do stuff?

Perhaps the most frustrating thing about depression, at least for those living with someone who suffers from it (i.e., my friends and family) is the complete and utter lack of motivation.

I want a better life, I really do, but I’m having a hard time convincing myself that doing the work required to change for the better is worth it.

This, of course, leads to a dangerous downwards spiral.  I used the metaphor on my mission of walking on a conveyor belt.  If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.  There’s no such thing as standing still.  I was talking about spiritual development, but it works just as well for personal growth as well.

Mom’s on my case to find out about school.  As well she should be.  I’d be frustrated with me if I was in her position, too.

But still, I’m old enough to have kids of my own, and still, one of my main motivations in life is not to have my mom yell at me.

I wish there was a guide, some sort of path–“if you do this, you won’t be depressed any more,” type of thing.  Unfortunately, life just doesn’t work that way.

And I’m not sure I’d have the motivation to do it, anyway.

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One response to “You mean I actually have to do stuff?”

  1. william wallace says :

    Corianne / you could be in the sense normal by worldy definition
    and live in the material world in relative comfort, in the religious
    arena attend the church meetings in giving interpretations of the
    bible that leaves all feeling comfortable…thus not be demanding
    on ones needs in offering to the Almighty 100%… but in settling
    in giving of 5% or perhaps 20%… thus the major part of ones life
    be their own in the material world in doing as they please..within
    very wide boundaries of that which being acceptable behaviour.

    However such being not your choice..rather it being your choice
    in giving a higher percentage…. thus changes must be made with
    raising your ability of an higher understanding an higher ability
    unto experience… such the changes you are now going through.

    Thus on a conveyor belt feeling you are going nowhere being apt
    in your present state…yet on that conveyor belt of life… you are
    going through mental development that will bring great rewards.

    HEAVEN IS NOT A FAR AWAY PLACE THAT ONE DEPARTS TO ON
    ONES DEATH OF THE BODY HEAVEN A STATE OF MENTAL BEING
    THE KEYS UNTO HEAVEN ONLY COME WITH THE HUMAN FORM
    THEY BEING.. HEART/ BRAIN.. IN BRINGING UNDERSTANDING
    AS EXPERIENCE..IN TIME IN GROWTH OPENING HEAVENS DOOR.
    HEAVEN TWAS NEVER THAT OF FICTION BUT THAT OF REALITY.

    Thus such mental state a blessing not a curse…. in time the clouds
    of confusion will clear leaving you without doubt, much the wiser.

    In asking why all the problems ???..why cant such be done Now ?.

    With growth of understanding / experience.. it then be clear why
    humanity must go through the process of spiritual development.

    Thus in learning that heaven not an fictional place but being here
    on the planet we live…. we need but use the brain to its capability
    as open the heart unto the abundance of love that being creation.

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