I’ve had a lot on my mind, the past couple of days. I don’t have an excuse for not writing, except, well I’m not sure how to put what I’ve been thinking about into words.
Everything that’s been going on–from the events in California, to going back to school/not being able to find a job, to a kid I went to high school with dying of a massive heart attack at the age of thirty over the weekend has had me thinking about…well, life, the trials we face or don’t face, and the way things turn out.
I’m coming out of what has been one of the worst years of my life. Things, from the outset, seem to have been a mess–but if I hadn’t lost my job and spent a more than a year unsuccessfully looking for a new one, I wouldn’t be going back to school.
It’s hard to explain, but I’ve been comforted, lately by the idea that God really does know the end from the beginning. I don’t know why, for instance, Zeb was called home so young, but I trust that there is a reason for it. I don’t know why church members in California (and elsewhere) were asked to sacrifice so much in 2008–to the point where two years later, it’s still a dividing issue for wards and families, but I’m beginning to trust that God does.
I don’t know if any of that makes any sense–I feel like I’m rambling. I’ve had the hardest time writing, and thinking the past couple of days. Really, not a good thing when school starts a week from tomorrow.