Tag Archive | job hunt

Yes, Mom, I’m thinking about the future.

I was looking at my archive calendar, and realized I’ve missed a lot of days in April, including yesterday.  I don’t have a lot to write about today, but I don’t want to miss two days in a row if I don’t have to…

Mom’s been on my case to *gasp* think about the  future.  She wants me to go back to school.  I DO want to go back to school, but I don’t have the funds to pay for it right now, and I don’t want to ask my parents or grandparents for the money.  I know that there’s the option of financial aide, but I’m also reluctant to go into debt for the next 20 years.

There’s also the problem that I don’t know what field of study to follow.  I love graphic arts, but, apparently, I’m just not a good enough artist to make a go of it.  I’ve considered IT, I like working with computers, and being a woman would give me an advantage when looking for a job.   I’m not sure if that’s something I want to do for the rest of my life, though.

Right now, I’m focused on finding a job.  And, apparently, I suck at job hunting.

All I know is I’m depressed, and have been for a few days.  I also decided that what I considered to be bad allergies was actually a head cold that G passed on to me.  I’m feeling better, physically, at least.  Emotionally…well, my body has gotten used to the Lexipro to the point where I’ve been sleeping for 15 hours a day, because it’s easier to sleep than to deal with the world.

Despondency

I don’t think there is anything more frustrating in the world than when you have to write something, but don’t have anything to write about.

I mean, there probably is, but I can’t think of it right now.

The past few days, well, all week, really, I’ve been despondent.  I think a lot of it has to do with my faux pas on Easter, but also, I’m getting stressed and worried about the job situation.  I’ve started applying not only at places where I want to work, but places where I think I could stand to work. I’d go everywhere, but I remember the one day I worked at the Stouffers factory, and don’t want to do that again.

The news says that retail, restaurants and…somewhere else have started hiring, and I am seeing an increase of job opportunities, but still…

I had to call my old workplace for some tax information today.  It ended in tears.  Mine, not theirs.  I thought I was over feeling bitter about losing my job, but I guess not.

And if the dreams I keep having about going there and working, but not getting paid is any indication, I miss it, too.

I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.  I don’t want to have to close up my condo and move back in with my parents, but it seems that there is more work in my home town of 3,500 people than in the city where I live now.

I hate this.  I really do.

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