WARNING: Infants.

I didn't have my camera, and my phone takes lousy pictures, so you get to see the sign in it's original packaging.

As I was walking through the parking lot to the bus stop on my way home from class today, I spotted a car with a sign in the window that read “Caution! Baby Inside”. The image was what appeared to be a giant floating head over a banana (a quick internet search when I made it home told me that I was right about the banana, at least, but the sign didn’t specify a baby what.)

The sign made me think of nothing so much as the notices placed on cages that transport animals of various degrees of domestication from place to place, and I had to wonder: What is so scary about babies that I need to be cautious? If I got too close to the car, would it growl at me? Would it snap at my fingers if I tried to pet it? If I feed it my peanuts or bread crusts would it become too used to adults, and start following random people around begging for food? (Come to think of it, that may have been what happened with my 15 month old nephew, E.)

I then started to wonder what a dangerous baby was doing being left alone in a car in a college parking lot–sure the caretakers could have removed the infant and left the sign, but that would be irresponsible–why make people worry about being attacked by a baby when there is no baby present?

The day was chilly, bordering on cold, so I wasn’t worried about the baby overheating–but I wasn’t going to check on it if I was being warned of it’s presence. But still, should I notify someone that there is a dangerous infant alone in a car? Surely whoever is responsible for those types of situations would be trained in how to deal with dangerous creatures, such as the baby we were being warned of. But what if it wasn’t there? Would that mean that it got loose? Is there a baby wandering around campus, savaging innocent students as they study or wait for their classes? What if it was in the bushes surrounding the bus stop? What if it had its sights set on me?

Fortunately, at this point in time, my bus came, and I managed to make it home without being attacked by a rabid toddler.   I’m going to make sure to lock my doors and windows tonight, though, just to make sure no infants get into my house. Because, from what I hear, once you have a baby, there’s no getting rid of it.

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If I’m going to be a writer, I really need to work on my titles.

Image by brandsvig via Flickr

So, I remembered something yesterday–I LIKE being read.  I actually don’t think my traffic was much higher than usual, but enough of y’all clicked on different posts to make my hit counter register more than a three-fold increase of my usual traffic.  Granted, considering that I took a six week  break from blogging, and wasn’t exactly churning out quality material beforehand, this wasn’t hard to do.

A special thanks and welcome to Mesacoelsombero, who not only liked my post yesterday, but subscribed to me as well.  Mesacoel (can I call you Mesacoel) represents the first subscriber that WordPress  has told me about.  He (or she, I couldn’t find a gender reference anywhere) has a blog about the economy of Latin America, which I’m would be much more fascinating to me if both Google Translate and I understood the language of finance.

Anyway, I’ve kind of purposely, and happily, been avoiding thinking about much of anything today–the new semester starts on Wednesday, which will bring with it all sorts of opportunities to think and stress etc, so for today and tomorrow, I’m just taking it easy and trying really hard not to think about things like tuition and books and various other supplies I’ll need.

In other news, I actually went to church yesterday.  I woke up with the beginnings of a migraine, and considered not going, but then decided that if I skipped the first Sunday of the new year it’d be setting a dangerous precedent–especially considering my resolution to go to church at least three times a month.  I made it though two hours before the migraine hit, and I had to go home.  Apparently, it was one that made me look ill–I had three people stop and ask me if I was okay as I was trying to slip out the door.   Sigh.

Anyway, life is good, for now.

And–the crazy is back.

As I start to write this, it’s just shy of 4 am.  I haven’t been to bed yet.  What have I been doing all night long?  Absolutely nothing.  Okay, that’s not true, I’m playing SimCity, but as that’s a game that requires a lot of waiting, it amounts to absolutely nothing.

Anyway, a few hours ago, I decided that it was time to go to bed.  I was just about to take the dogs out for a walk, when I heard a loud pop, then another one, right outside my window.  That’s not a good sound at 2 am.

The crazy worrier in me starts thinking gunshots, but the calm logical part of me who rarely gets a voice reminded me that I was watching Law and Order earlier, and I live in a safe neighborhood.  Firecrackers, then, but I didn’t hear any talking or laughing–or shouting for that matter, sounds which experience, and the TV tells me often accompany things like firecrackers and gunshots.

So now, I’m too scared to walk the dogs, but also know that it was probably nothing and not worth calling the police over.  So I sit and do nothing, while the treasury of my fake city grows.

Then, an hour or so later, I hear a car drive into the parking lot, and I hear the sound again.  Only, this time, it seems distinctly metallic.  Like, a can or a sheet of metal that hits against the speed bump right outside my balcony after someone drove over it.

Yeah, I felt stupid.  But, in my defense, I’d been awake for like 20 hours at this point.

Thoughts while watching the Olympics

1. Ugh, figure-skating.
2. Why didn’t I ever learn to play hockey?
3. Oh, right, I can’t skate.
4. Luge looks fun.  I wonder if I have the guts to try it.
5. Probably not.
6. The captain of the German Women’s Curling Team is really scary.
7. Now how do I resume a numbered list?
8. Oh, figured it out.
9. I want a pair of curling shoes.
10. Why didn’t I try curling while I was in Canada?
11. I miss Canada.
12. LULU SHUT UP!!!
13. How it the crap is biathlon scored?
14. Oooohhhh…dog show on USA Network.
15. Speed skating in a little like NASCAR–gofastgofastgofastgofastgofastLEFT TURN!

Randomosity

I’ve had a hard time coming up with a blog post for the past couple of days, so I thought that I’d post a bunch of random stuff about me and about the dogs.

About Me:

1. I was born exactly one week before my sister’s first birthday.
2. Even though I love to read and write, I’ve never been able to spell.  Thank goodness for spellcheck!
3. I’ve ridden Willie Nelson’s horse.  Bareback.
4. The hospital once told my mom I was dead. (She gets mad at me when she hears me say that, but then she’s thinking of a different trip to the hospital than I am)
5. I have the most random food allergies:  I’m allergic to pineapple, raw carrots (but not cooked), soy (but not edamaime), and lychee.  Melons, bananas and tree nuts are on the ‘should be avoided’ list, but I don’t have a full-blown allergy to them.  When I have an allergic reaction to food, my throat swells up and I have a hard time breathing.
6. I LOVE cooked carrots, as long as someone else prepares them for me (if I get carrot juice on my skin, I break out into hives.)  My favorite way to eat cooked carrots is to dip them in ketchup.
7. I’ve always been better at telling stories than at math.  When I was trying to learn my times tables, I had to assign each number a personality, then make up stories with the location of the plot being the answer.–1 is just there, 2 is a reporter, 3 is an adventurer, 4 is helpful, 5 is a trickster, 6 is a peacemaker, 7 is a bitch, 8 is a romantic, and 9 is an entrepreneur.  (And, no I didn’t know all those words in the 3rd grade)
8. I’ve seen a ghost.  Or something.
9. I love working with my hands.
10. I get annoyed with people who think their values and ideals are the only ones of worth, even if I share those values and ideals.
11. I don’t remember the last time I saw a movie in the theater, but I like to keep track of what’s playing, and reading about the plots of the movies.
12. I struggle in social situations, but I love to perform, give talks and speeches.
13. I like to watch ScFi movies and TV shows, but I don’t like to read ScFi books.  Same goes for mysteries.
14. I have a sweet tooth, but I still prefer carbohydrates. My perfect dessert is a slice of fresh, homemade bread loaded with homemade apricot jam.
15. I love working with my hands.
16. I’m a daddy’s girl.  I love to spend time with my dad, and to geocache and explore the desert with him.
17. I love to sing, but I’m not very good.  Last time I sang to G, he asked me why I was crying.
18. I also love drawing, but am not very good.  I’m much better on a computer than with a pencil and paper.  I think it all has to do with the “ctrl+z” function.
19. Most people assume I’m a democrat.  I’m not, I’m more of an independent.  It’s just that I don’t think that the government should be the ones telling us who we can marry, what we can do with our bodies, etc.
20. My favorite color is orange.  My favorite color is orange because when I was a little girl, I loved Rainbow Brite, and my favorite one of her friends was Lala Orange.
21. I hate to wear shoes because they make my feet too hot.  I inherited this from my Grandpa.
22. I sneeze and get a runny nose after I’ve eaten too much.  I also inherited this from my Grandpa.
23. I love documentaries but hate reality shows.
24. I’m obsessed with birds.
25. I love water and swimming, but hate wearing a swimming suit.  I even like to wash the dishes because it’s an excuse to play in the water!

About the Dogs:

1. Max won’t sleep without a toy.  It doesn’t really matter what kind.  It’s not unusual for me to get up in the morning and find a couple of soft toys, a rope and a raw hide on the bed.
2. Lulu HATES to walk on wet grass, but she won’t pee on the sidewalk.  This makes for very interesting walks on rainy days.
3. Max loves to watch TV.  He’s often more interested in the programs than I am.
4. Lulu is WAY more social than I am.  In her mind, people=friends.  Unless Max starts barking at them.
5. Both dogs snore.  Sometimes when they are awake.
6. Max will bark at dogs on TV, even if they don’t make a noise.  Lulu barks at whatever Max is barking at.